Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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