He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
