i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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