On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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