dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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