Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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