so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize