If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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