That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
