I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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