i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Found the puke drawer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
