I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
