Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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