You just made me feel so damn special
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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