Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
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I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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