and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize