After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
