then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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