Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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