I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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