I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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