Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
