Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Houston, we have a squirter
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
