Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
