Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
