Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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