She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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