I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
