After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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