That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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