And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
