She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
