Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
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