Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
