Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
