How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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