why didn't you poke me back
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
