did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize