i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
