Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
