Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
