A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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