and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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