Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Farmville is her only friend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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