My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
