You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
