For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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