I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
