Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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