i barfeds in our rink
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
