the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
