hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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