I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
