The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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