I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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