Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
