I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
